Postpartum depression.

Today I want to talk about postpartum depression a lot of things NOBODY talks about. Sorry This is kind of a long read!

What is Postpartum depression? Do I have it? Can I get it? How do I get rid of it??

Pregnancy is such a amazing thing! Your growing a life, and having that constant companion inside you. You’re so excited, confident, and ready to meet this new life you made!

The birth of your baby is the grand finale of all this anticipation, and motherhood is a joyful celebration!

Within 1-2 year after delivery, 2 in 7 women will find themselves in a deep, dark abyss of depression.You may think it wont happen to you. (like me) You may try to fight it (Like me) You may try to ignore it and put it on the back burner (Like me) But the reality of it is YOU CAN’T!

We found out we were expecting.

With Carter I was alone my WHOLE pregnancy (My Husband was deployed)

In 2015 we found out we were expecting and then within a week he got deployed and with his deployment I NEVER talked to him.. I think I talked to him a handful of times. So you can already image how I was feeling!

But we were so great full and thankful he got to come home 2 days before he was born! Which was just amazing! My birth didn’t go 100% as planned, Which throws another damper on the start of your (PPD) But he was a all natural birth which was my goal so it wasn’t all to bad!

Fast forward two weeks and my husband was sent back off to his duty station which was a little over nine hours from us.

So here I am alone my whole pregnancy and back alone with a 2 week old baby. You can only image how I was feeling.

But I tried to keep myself busy to keep it off my mind. I went back to work full time with a 5 week old.. Yeah that was awful on top of that I had a hour and thirty minute drive to work everyday

I struggled. A LOT. But I was good at keeping it hid. I worked a full time job with a full time drive hah, I trained horses and did anything and everything outside. I really didn’t have time to dwell on myself. So I kept it hide and went on with my life isn’t that what everybody does?

Fast forward to March 2018

I started to gain weight a lot fasted and she showed FAST!

We found out we were expecting another little one.

But this time it was WAY different. We had moved nine hours away to be with my husband while he finished his enlistment . I was three months pregnant when we moved from SC back to TN.

This was the worst pregnancy I’ve ever delt with. I lost 20 pounds the first two months because I was so sick, I couldn’t eat and if I didn’t it came back up. All I wanted to do was sleep 24/7 But with a 2 year old you can’t do that!

I struggled with being so sick and talking care of a wild two year old.

Two day’s before she as born.

Fast forward to when Elizabeth was born, She made her debate Dec 2018

And again my birth didn’t go all the way as planned but she was all natural and that’s all that really matter to me.

We were discharged within 13 hours of her being born. And went home to now a family of four.

The start of it..

I was now a stay at home mom to two little ones, And here’s where my (PPD) hit hard AGAIN.. I never took care of it the first time.. It was awful. I didn’t want to do anything.. I had a two year old and a 2 day old baby.. Just looking at my husband made me mad. I couldn’t stand to look at him talk to him ANYTHING. I wouldn’t let him help and I gave him the silent treatment to everything. I remember one night Elizabeth was probably 3 weeks old and we were laying in bed and he looked at me and said “What’s going on, what are we even doing anymore? You wont even look at me or talk to me” But of course I wasn’t going to tell him what was wrong, Cause that’s what we do right? I realized he was noticing something was wrong so I had to find away to do better at hiding it..

He went back to work and I was left with a 2 year old and a 3 week old to take care of by myself. I would just sit in bed all day. I wound’t do anything. I wouldn’t eat. I pretty much staved myself.

I Struggled with breastfeeding and dealing with my weight gain etc..

Finally when she hit about 4-5 months old it started to get a little better. I started to feel more connected to my husband again. And I felt like thing’s were doing better. But if you don’t take care of it it never really leaves..

I mean sure I look happy. You wouldn’t think I struggle.

I struggle with (PPD) bad with both my kids. But I hide it well. I’m sure NOBODY knows about this hah so here ya’ll go!! But seriously if YOU are struggling PLEASE talk to someone get help.

I’m not someone to ask for help or get help even if I need it. But when your struggling with PPD please talk to someone.. Find another mom find a friend talk to someone..

I now have a 3 year old and a one year old. And there are day’s still that I want to just lay in bed and sleep.. But I know I can’t and I know I have two little ones to take care of. Find something or someone to help you ❤

NOBODY wants to be told “you need help,” but if you see someone struggling, you might mention to her that she doesn’t seem quite like herself. Ask if you can help with anything? Let her know you’re there for her, no matter what, and that it will get better.

Postpartum depression you may experience the following symptoms:

  • Restlessness and an inability to sleep
  • Lethargy and sleeping too much
  • Chronic fatigue and brain fog, difficulty making decisions, and forgetfulness
  • Eating much more or much less than usual
  • Overwhelming sadness and hopelessness, with tearful episodes coming out of nowhere
  • Lack of energy or motivation
  • Intense feelings of guilt, inadequacy, or worthlessness
  • Loss of pleasure or interest in everyday activities
  • Withdrawal from family and friends
  • Relentless anxiety, panic attacks, and racing, scary thoughts
  • Excessive irritability, anger, or agitation and lashing out at others
  • Fear of not being a good mother or agonizing over loss of self

Something that Many factors in your PPD.

  • A labor that didn’t go according to birth plan
  • Fatigue from an arduous labor
  • Lack of sleep from the constant demands of a newborn
  • Breastfeeding challenges
  • Physical discomfort during recovery
  • Lack of family nearby to support the transition
  • Difficulty adjusting to weight gain
  • Changes in home and work routines
  • Perfectionism and the desire to be a “perfect” mom
  • Doubts about the ability to be a good mother

Women at the extreme end of the spectrum may have thoughts of hurting themselves or abandoning or hurting their babies.

Postpartum psychosis occurs in 2 to 4 out of every 1,000 births, with symptoms of confusion, hallucinations, and/or rapid mood swings.

Postpartum psychosis is a medical emergency. If you are experiencing thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby, go to the ER or CALL YOUR DOCTOR immediately.

I’m here to help.

If you need help let’s talk. If you need someone to talk to let’s talk. If you need a hand reach out. Please don’t stay silent. I have a passion to help moms. I struggled and I’ve dealt with it. I don’t know everything but I want to do anything to help. I want to become a certified doula and a breast feeding counselor, But I feel right now with a 3 year old and a 1 year old I wouldn’t be able to put my FULL attention to it. So it’s on the back burner for now 🙂

Do you struggle with PPD? Drop a comment below let us know your story ❤

As always thank you for reading and following us ❤

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